An interest in chaplaincy

Over the last couple of years, as my calling has come in stages to the forefront of my mind, the specifics of what that will mean in my life have gained sharper focus. It's all very well that I 'feel a calling to ordained ministry', but what does that look like?

My rector asked me this in our last meeting. Something like "If you could stop working, give up stage management and 'concentrate on this' [she was quoting me complaining about having to go through the discernment process and still keep working in a career I was planning on leaving] what would that be? What would you be doing?"

Initially, I wanted to respond, 'well that's why I'm here, sitting in your office, I don't know what to do with this nagging in the back of my head, help me woman, YOU tell ME!' But I quickly  realised the point of her question was that I do need to start working on the specifics, I need to actually think about this process as real life.

We can't all have a spinning arrow like Pocahontas

It's very easy to imagine a whole new life and pretend to set goals, but actually be creating a fantasy, writing the story you want rather than living the story you have. That way lies failure.

The discernment process is not some fairy tale spell to gain insight and magically get pointed in the right direction. I'm looking at a process that will be measured in months and years. So I need to get over the delusion that it's going to be handed to me on a plate and actually get my hands dirty.

What do I see when I think about myself as an ordained priest? The first thought is the most obvious - that of myself in a chasuble at the front of a church behind a lectern. Sure, the thought of preaching to a familiar congregation and performing the sacraments of baptism and Eucharist (Holy Communion) are nice, but with the aid of second thoughts, the responsibilities of a parish priest don't look like they suit me all that well.

Last year at Greenbelt, I was browsing the books tent and a small book called 'Being A Chaplain' popped out at me. I bought it, and read about chaplaincy in hospitals, universities, airports, football clubs, the military, and prisons, and the idea of chaplaincy really appeals.

I'm good at focus, rather than the big picture thinking of a whole parish; I'm good at creating both fleeting relationships with strangers and supportive relationships long term; I've been told I'm a good listener, I enjoying listening to people; one of the reasons I want to be a priest is to help people - I love in stage management being a resource that crew and cast can come to for anything, and being good at providing or facilitating what they need - a stage manager's agenda is not their own; it really feeds into what I was saying about stories in this post; and as a liberal inclusivist, it would be a joy to minister to people of all faiths and none.

I can't imagine lay chaplaincy. What do I see what I think about myself as a chaplain? A dog collar. I think chaplaincy will be part of my life in ordained ministry, but not the entirety,