Below I have outlined in more detail the events in the video, and have included the notes I made at various sessions.
FRIDAY
After arriving at the accommodation and checking in, we gathered in the chapel for tea, biscuits and cake (which was soon to become a theme of the weekend!) to mingle and awkwardly try and get to know each other. We were a mixed group - late teens, 20s, 40s and 50s, 6 men and 4 women, from all over the UK and a couple of other countries as well, on a variety of places on our journeys of faith and vocation.
Our three guides for the next couple of days were a curate at a local church from the Society, an ordinand and parish assistant from another local church, and a member of the Community of the Resurrection, a religious community nearby. They gathered us, and the curate promptly introduced everyone to the "not an icebreaker" exercise of giving one's name, and the story of one's shoe. Vespers were said before dinner, after which we re-congregated in the chapel.
We spent the evening together, first with the curate telling us her story of vocation, and then breaking into groups to discuss our own. My notes from that session were:
- I was introduced to the term 'altar in the loft' syndrome, which refers to children playing at being priests in the same manner as 'playing house', or 'playing doctors and nurses'
- joy/confidence - sharing gospel
- Time is always an element of our journeys, but crucially it is God's time
- BAPs can be horrible - that can be a sign that it's the wrong time
- I was particularly partial to the imagery that discernment includes mountains to climb and ditches to fall in
Compline followed, and many of us walked to the local 'Spoons, having found the intended pub closed, much to the dismay of the curate.
SATURDAY
After breakfast, we set off in a few cars to the first church of the day, for Eucharist, a cup of tea, and a chat with the parish priest, a lovely woman who had had her calling to priesthood slightly later in life. She told us of the struggles in the area, holding the parish together when two merged, the new building and its cafe, all sorts.
I have notes in this slot, but I'm not sure if they were from this session. Here they are anyway:
- if your path turns from vocation into career building, it'll feel wrong
- we are often called to abandon our nets like the disciples, our nets often being our security
Piling back into the cars (the day's drivers were heroic) we were soon at our next stop, where we met Rachel Mann. Look her up. She's awesome. She spoke so eloquently and passionately, even those in the group who might have taken issue with her transwoman identity spoke of their admiration for her obvious faith. I didn't get my notebook out anywhere near early enough but I did write:
- priests aren't superheroes - ours is a vulnerable God who carries the wounds of the cross forever
- people want to love their priest, and be loved by their priest
Speeding on, we visited what was obviously the prettiest church, as it was the parish of our curate guide. Tea, soup and sandwiches was followed by a chat with our monastic guide, who talked of his calling to religious life.
We were greeted at the next church with, you guessed it, tea and cake. We spend some time in groups reflecting on our day, and what I got strongly was a new appreciation for the importance in most parishes (but not mine, so it was a novelty) of the actual geographical parish
We moved to the side chapel for what was for me the most useful session, with the Bishop. Bishops are the decision makers in the CofE, so getting his perspective, especially on their decisions regarding candidates for ordination, was a real insight. He also spoke wonderfully of calling, and faith.
- making a difference
- thirst for sacred and longing for encounter with God
- our buildings provide space for the 'other', as well as resource and equip a community
- the criteria should be part of my prayer on my vocation
- looking for evidence of real, authentic, lived out friendship with Christ, and a want for others to find the friendship
- not a social club - first duty and joy as a church is worship
- discipline of prayer (an unsurprising theme of everything I have heard or read on vocation)
- how are things between me and God? not how should it be or what state am I working towards, Right Now, even if I'm on a difficult path, is there a sense of peace about that path? if there is, I am where God wants me to be
- how am I the living gospel?
- service - servant community, love in action
"Go into all the world, and preach the gospel, and use words if you have to " - St Francis [yay for subtle evangelism! Must remember this quote]
- being ordained in a privilege
- looks for sense of need for growth - TTI (theological training institute) is place/time for formation
- woundedness is not the barrier - what you do with it can be
- the priestly ministry is distinct within ministry of all believers
- preaching, teaching, sacraments, pastoral care, mission
- the uncomfortable thought "that is what I was born for"
- Is this what Jesus is asking?
- red flag - overconfidence, if the candidate thinks themselves already everything required and God's gift to the church
Vespers followed, and after a brief rest, a fun meal shared on the Curry Mile.
SUNDAY
Breakfast and checking out preceded returning to the church where we talked to the Bisop the night before, for morning prayer with the parish priest. Of course we grabbed tea and biscuits, before sitting in the social room for a chat with him about the process. He gave us the perspective, to add to the Bishop's, of a member of the panels that report back from the BAPs.
- discernment involves listening to others, listening to God
- BAP is not an interview for a job, it is a time and place to get to know you and line you up in the context of the criteria
- in younger candidates, less emphasis on evidence, more on potential
- there's a gap in uptake of women under 30, especially non-evanglicals
Going through the criteria
A - being able to tell your story
- listen but also talk to others including those outside the church
- don't be embarrassed
- priest - sacraments, service, connections, represent and enable others to witness Christ, leader
- can be uncomfortable language, don't be scared of the words
B - asked where you've been to, basically tell your story and understand your own personal tradition including how you got there and which forces have shaped you
- good to experience other churches
- two telling questions - what are your interests outside the church? What do you believe will be the main elements in your future ministry?
C - friends can be part of spiritual direction, not crucial to have official spiritual director, though advised
D/E/F - mostly assessed at the actual BAP rather than preceding paperwork
- being able to talk, and honestly, about difficult times
- be relaxed
- say who you are, assessment is of your calling as you, not the person you think they want you to be
G - not just being a believing Christian - critical, articulate, involvement in your life
- can have nuanced 'coming to Christ' rather than dramatic conversion
- what do I understand Christ to be? can have different expression
H - mission and evangelism = two separate terms!
- look up five marks of mission
I - flexibility of mind, openness to change and challenge
- awareness of others' vulnerability
- breadth of personality eg films, reading etc
TIPS
- talk to people about my calling in and outside church
- diocese vocation fellowship?
- run with what you find interesting
- not too bothered about being on the PCC or synods
- in the group activity, listen to others' views and draw things together
- get involved at parish level but also focus on bigger picture eg Greenbelt
- be informed about the Church
- inform about religious/spiritual interests and explore why inspired by certain people
- PRAY. Discipline is important, regularity is very Anglican
- placements can be good
- red flag - over-assertiveness, though show vulnerability, only in a balanced way
Mass was basically Catholic, which was an novel experience. Not my cup of tea though. Talked to some of the congregation, over tea naturally, and had a fab lunch of cold meat, hard boiled eggs, salad, bread and cheese.
The last session was a bring and share. People brought books that inspired them, Bible verses, a teddy, and I took my children's Bible, because that's where my story always starts, and it reminds me that I am dedicating my life to a story, the telling and sharing of stories, and I should never forget that.
Benediction of the Sacrament and laying on of hands was all new as well, but rather sweet. I had to run to catch my train, but made it in time, and got home. Yes, I cried that night as seen in the video, but I meant what I said.
I would highly recommend a vocations weekend, I got so much more out of it than day conferences, not just as we were able to fit more organised stuff in, but also from learning from my companions as we got to know each other through worship, sharing meals and experiences together.
Beautifully done and clearly heart-felt!
ReplyDelete